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 A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)

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PostSubject: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:38 am

Ok, Thiz here iz a fanfic but I didn't write it, but I think itz awesome so I wanted to share it. Itz a SSX fanfic, natually, I love SSX so here'z the story.

Chapter one -- Lachrymose end

19 year old Koari Nishidake rode her new silver board down through the recently shiny, full of sparkly white stuff, the course of Snow jam.

She thought to herself of what she would do once she managed to get into the lodge. She thought some food would be nice, maybe some mini hotdogs but then she remebred what happened last time. Mac and Griff had an eating compitition, bets were on Mac, that he'd throw up before the 12 year old boy did but the little boy did instead of Mac and no-one dared to go back into the lodge kitchen til after someone was called into the lodge to clean up all the smelly hotdog spew.

Thinking about spew made Koari want to vomit herself and she suddenly lost her appitite

'Maybe i'l find some lollies or something' she thought but then figured that Griff would never give any away or he would of eaten them all before anyone got to them.

She finally arrived at the lodge and hurried to unstrap her board from the freezing ice.

She heard familiar voices and Psymon's regular manical screams, J.p laughing and talking in his french accent that Koari thought was cute.

Zoe then throwing Psymon out the lodge window etc.

She said hi to the laughing group then went upstairs to her little “room”.

The lodges all had special little rooms that the ssx compititors slept in.

Peak 1s green satation had Allegra's & Griff's room.

The blue station had Koari's and Mac's room.

Peak 2s yellow station claimed Moby's and Viggo's room even though Moby complianed.

The Red station was occupied with Nate's room along with Zoey and all the others who weren't actually new comers but still annonyed the heck out of them.

Way up on Peak 3, the black station had Psymon's room which across the hallway was Elise's room but she had a thing with Psymon before he rode his bike over power lines so she didn't really mind. It just scared her when he sleepwalked into her room and totally smashed her room to bits.

No one has ever actually been in Psymon's room, everyone tells rumours that he has skeletons in his closet and has gothic posters covering his wall completely. But those are just rumours no one believes them. Except for Koari. She stays away from him.

She stepped into her room and layed on her bed remembering her day which wasnt really interesting but it gave her something to do. She failed to notice the shadowy figure in the background.

Mac Fraser stood up on the podium recieveing a gold medal for the Snow jam course.

The race money he just won, he planned to take Koari out to dinner, except that he had absolutely no where to take her!

He thought of taking her to a picnic but he didnt think she'd like her ass getting wet from the snow.

“Where can I take Koari for dinner?” He asked Viggo after he got off the podium.

“Umm, maybe the lady could go for a fancy resturant?” Viggo answered in question.

“Ok, what resturant?” Mac asked as if he were begging for a good answer.

“One that has maybe food Japan in it. Try Red Dragon,it has japanese food in it, or was it chinese? I cant remember.”

Viggo said calmly.

Mac nodded then walked to his board and then takin one last look around the area he rode off to Koari's room.

Koari was reading a book on her bed when the figure silently walked out of the shadows, she turned around but she didnt see anything.

The figure pulled out the shiny metallic gun and aimed it at her.

Koari had a feeling that someone was watching her so she kept looking around, each time doing so the figure with the gun hid away until she turned back around, however never getting a chance.

Koari heard footsteps occasionally and she now was beginning to become scared.

“Mac? Is that you?” Koari asked nervously.

Mac just approched the lodge now, he couldnt wait to tell Koari that he had an idea of where they can spend time together.

The figure had enough he wanted Koari dead! He finally stepped out of the shadows and aimed the metallic gun striaght at the timid japanese girls head.

Koari didnt have time to think, she let out a scream but that was the last thing for her to do before a bullet went through her head.


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Last edited by Vampyric~Fairy on Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:47 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:43 am

Chapter two -- Dereflicting Fate

Hearing a frantic scream Mac lashed out in sprint only to see Koari's bloody dead body lying on the floor and a person with a gun,he was panting and laughing a laugh similar to Psymons.

Anger and rage screamed in Mac's head and he lunged himself at the killer, the killer saw him and pointed the gun at him, only missing Mac by a hair thread!

They both came tumbling to the floor but seconds before the killer hit the ground he pressed a button latched onto his watch and Mac and the killer where suddenly swirling around in a green gas.

Mac felt his skin tingle and his eyes stung with fury and seemed to want to explode out of his head! He shut them as tight as possible and all of a sudden nothing hurt and everything seemed safe.

He slowly opened one eye and realised where he was.

He was in Koari's room but she wasnt there nor was the killer,

Mac was so confused what had just happened?

Where is Koari? Who was the killer?

So many questions where wondering Mac mind but they all seemed impossible to answer.

Gazing his surrondings, everything seemed perfectly normal as though as if Koari's death never happened.

“What is going on here?” Mac asked no one inparticular

“Mac?” a familiar voice asked

Mac turned around to see Koari standing in the door frame, she looked as if he was lost or something.

Mac was just stunned she was alive! He didnt need to know how but he was just really happy to see her! He ran up to her and hugged her tight.

“I missed you” he whispered

“umm Mac? What are you doing in my room? Did you leave something in here again cos yesterday I found your guns and roses cd on my bed” Koari said, a little bit confused

Mac really didnt know what to say, he really didnt think that he could blurt out

“You were just killed and I lunged myself at the killer and now

Im perfectly fine and you're alive!”

so instead he just said “Oh yea I thought I left something in here and so I thought I'd come get it before you could see so I would'nt look like an idiot”

Koari giggled and hugged him.

“Well, Its getting late I was just coming in here to go to sleep, but you could tuck me in if you want”

Mac inwardly shouted 'YES!'

“Sure” he just simply said.

She smiled and started to undress herself, She didnt ask him to look away or leave so he just watched her and only looked away when he started to get excited

“Mac” Koari said his name to get his attention away from 'Mac jr.'

(do I need detail here?)

he walked over slowly and uncertainly glanced at her face which seemed so innocent under the lampshade.

He kissed her on the forehead and whispered goodnight in her ear, he turned out the light and began to walk out the door.

“Mac?” Koari whispered

“What is it?” Mac asked

“Thank you for dinner” She said in a voice that was barely audiable

“Huh?” He was stumped, he never took her out to dinner, he was about to but then she was killed and...but shes alive..?? wasnt she? Mac kept thinking that maybe he dreamed that she was killed and he did take her to dinner.

“Oh yeah. Your welcome” he said playing along to make her think he didnt have short term memory loss.

She then closed her eyes and Mac closed the door silently

'What is going on?' the question that kept wondering through his head was begininng to annoy him.

Here he was thinking that he just had a very bad dream and was now bumped silly with illusions that never existed.

But he was going to figure this out.

He was determined to.


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PostSubject: Re: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:44 am

Chapter 3 -- Educating Death

Mac's footsteps were slow and cautious, it was around 11.00pm and he didn't want to wake anyone.

He got to the bottom of the stairs without making a sound and he looked around, there was a painting above the fireplace that he didnt recognize and there was an extra chair that was seated before a strange rug that looked similar to the one that Koari said she would buy but never got around to it.

Mac was beginning to think that he's been asleep for ages.

The soft snow outside sparkled on the windowcil and Mac felt peaceful as to it was pure silence and he dared not breathe to interrupt the peace.

Questions were still annoying him but he decided to ignore them and enjoy the peacefulness. He sat down on the red loveseat and took out his Mp4 player from his pocket and listened to some music and soon drifted off to sleep.

A cold wind forced Mac's sleepy eyes to awaken and focus and Mac's mind sprang to life, first remembering yeaterday how he tucked his girlfriend in, and the peacefulness and most of all her death, her body lying on the cold hard floor.

Blood covering her beautiful face and her perfect hazel orbs covered by a darkness that resembled death.

Mac shivered at such terrible thoughts and he suddenly felt like crying.

“Mac?” a womans voice echoed in his ears

he looked to see a blonde woman standing in front of him, her face full of confusion.

“Elise?” Mac asked back.

“What are you doing?” Elise asked with a frown.

“Uhh, I fell asleep I guess” He replied groggly

“No ****,” She responded

“When did you come here anyway? I thought that you were up on Peak 3 because you wanted to settle things with Psymon”

She said that confirmed her confusion.

Mac was really not understanding a word she was saying, He was on Peak 1 all the time and whats this stuff about settling things with Psymon?

The only thing that he wanted to settle was to make sure that Psymon still had no teeth after he punched Koari in the gut and then insulted her.

“I wanted to give him some time to think about what he has done” Mac replied dumbly knowing that the excuse was barely worth it.

“Uh huh, well be careful that you ran away once Psymon wakes up from all the alcohol he had last night, no one is safe up there right now and thats why im down here”Elise stated

Mac was still trying to fathom all this new information

since when was Psymon an alcoholic? How come he was here all night but never saw Elise?

“How come I didnt see you last night?” Mac asked

“Because you let me sleep in your room, remember?” Elise asked.

Oh god, another thing that happened and his conscience had gone elsewhere.

“When did that I say that?” Mac asked and getting a little annoyed

“Uhh yesterday...dont you remember? Man I think you bumped your head or something” Elise stated

Mac just gave up and played along until he could figure it all out.

“Oh yeah I remember now,sorry I had a blonde moment there”

He said but quikly changing his mind once he saw the look on Elise's face about his blonde joke.

“Whatever” she replied not all that happy.

Mac needed to recover so he quikly said bye and sprinted out of there as fast as he could.

He just left Elise breathless.

He ran till he was outside the gondala, what the hell was going on? He kept thinking.

Mac sighed and sat down on the snow.

He failed to see the figure in the distance holding a shining piece of metal in his hand...


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PostSubject: Re: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:46 am

Chapter 4 -- A World Of Confusion

Shivering in the cold, he didn't know what to think.

What had happened? He couldn't think. Flakes touched his warm cheek and he laid down on the frozen snow not at all bothered by the snow that appeared around him.

A faint click brought Mac's mind to action and a sixth sense told him to MOVE!

His body moved just as soon as something bronze colored smacked into the snow where he had just laid

Confusion and anger surrounded in Mac's head and he aimed to where it had came from, in the corner of his eye he saw a figure in black run away to the left and around the corner

He wasn't going to get away this time! Mac sprinted after him him into an unknown alley but lost his trail and he stopped halfway, exhausted and gasping for air.

His feet sweated and they wanted to collasp but he kept moving on he had to find that person and find out who was trying to kill him.

He walked until he came beside an old rusty ladder that seemed to only standing because of some contraption, Mac didn't know that it wasn't very stable so he sat down in front of it, creeks echoed and Mac became just a little paranoid.

He stood up but then heard something growl and the sound of iron and chains came closer and closer, he turned around and the ladder was falling down! Right on him!

Mac quickly jumped out of the way and doing a flip that would of made Olympic jumpers envious, missing the ladder by a few millimeters. A loud crash came from rusted iron smashing into hard concrete and Mac was just stunned.

What the hell just happened?

It took awhile for Mac to regain a clear view and relief was hard to come by, he was on the verge of death and he cheated it.

Cats scurried out of the hole in the wall where the ladder had previously been, the rats sniffed out the rotten pieces of food and a “V” of black swans flew in the sky and Mac wondered where he was.

Mac wanted out of this weird place so he ran, he ran like he'd never ran before,he ran from his fears,he ran for peace and sense. He didn't know where he was running to but he just wanted to get out of there!

Eventually he stumbled into a forest that he never knew existed, he figured he was still somewhere on peak 1 but he had never seen this forest before and he knew peak 1 off the back of his hand.

The blackest sky he'd ever seen was forming above him and there were no lights around him, an adventure for finding the truth turned into a horror movie and he felt like crying again.

He prayed for someone to yell “CUT!” and the camera lights to shine in his pupils.

But nothing like that happened. He felt so alone. All he wanted was to have Kaori in his arms and to know where he was in the world.

He gave up he laid in the snow, shivering and crying,all had seemed lost and now he felt something crawling up his leg, he wriggled and the crawling still went on.

Mac lifted up his trouser leg and found snow ants(?) sucking onto blood that had formed when he dodged the ladder.

He insanely moved about in an attempt to rid them off his leg but it did not succeed, they sucked away and Mac couldn't get them off!

He gathered his options in a hurry and a great panic and decided to RUN! His eyes flared with worry for his safety and he feared for the worst, he could feel as he ran the ants falling off as his feet kicked high in the air.

He ran through the forest and branches whacked his face and arms and more blood poured out but there were less ants than before and Mac whacked them off with tree branches that stung his skin and wounds.

He eventually ran out of the forest and he feel unconscious to the cold snowy floor.


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PostSubject: Re: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:47 am

Chapter 5 -- The End Of Your Life

“I thought you would have been dead by now, you don't belong here anyway.” a cold voice said and came barely to his ears

“Where are you!?” Mac yelled.

“Right behind you”

Mac turned around only to see total blackness and a light..

a light? Light!

He forced his stiff limbs to move and he lunged himself at the light.

Instantly he felt himself lunge something and he only realized that he was on top of someone.

Was it the killer?

When he opened his eyes, he saw a person in a balaclava, but something about the persons eyes seemed somewhat familiar.

Quickly he grabbed the mask off and what he saw he did NOT expect.

Cos what he saw was another one of himself! This Mac seemed more evil and instead of a zit where Mac had one it was replaced by a mole. A real big ugly mole that was screaming to be removed.

He was speechless.

The other Mac just smirked and effortlessly pushed Mac off him.

“Why are you so surprised?” the clone asked

“You killed Kaori! You deserve to die!” Mac screamed at him.

“Oh yeah, I guess I did...oh well” the clone said which made Mac wanna beat the crap out of him.

“Why did you do it!?” Mac tried so hard to suppress his anger within his fist.

“You'll see why if you stay with her, I kinda did you a favor.” The other Mac said.

“By killing the woman i love!?” Mac yelled louder.

“Yes! I'm saving you from heart break! You idiot!” Mac-clone yelled at Mac.

“Oh really? What could of she done?” Mac asked taming his anger

“Cheated with Nate” Mac-clone said and Mac could see the pain swelling up in his eyes.

Mac just didn't know what to think. Kaori cheated on his former self and the clone couldn't take it so he came back from the future to kill her? To save his other self that was him, from a real bad heart break?

“Then why are you trying to kill me?,” Mac asked the clone

“You were never supposed to follow me to the future. I'm really surprised you're still alive considering that fate don't have room for two Mac's and only one of us is going to be alive at the end of the day,” the clone explained.

“Then how do I get back?” Mac asked,getting scared that he may be trapped and he was the one who wasn't going to survive the end of the day.

The clone however only shrugged his shoulders

“How should I know? You can't get back the way you came, when you lunged at me the watch broke so smooth move there”

Mac felt so alone again.

“So I'm stuck here?” He asked his former self

“Yep” the clone replied

“No, I can't I still have so much I need to do!” Mac yelled and he took off running as fast as he could.

He ran for his dreams, his love and his sanity. He ran to live, he ran for life he wanted to hold onto.

He didn't know where his running will take him but knew he had to get back no matter what.

He ran back through the alley with the fallen ladder and the stray cats hissed at him as he invaded their territory.

One cat slipped out in front of him, Mac's foot mistook the cat for ground and time seemed in slow motion, Mac saw what was coming before it had happened.

A long piece of sharp rail had stabbed him right in the middle of the heart and blood flowed everywhere, turning his clothes red and his breathing stopped, his heart stopped beating and the life slowly flowed out of the boy who knew that he had no chance againest fate. He knew his clone was going to survive, but he still denied it. He still wanted to live, get back to his friends back in the past. But he couldn't. How could he?

The pain ebbed away, all emotions drained and Mac's life was dissolved in the wind.

Only minutes later, his clone saw him laying on the ground with a sharp piece of rail sticking right in his heart.

Well, this is all of the story that I have found anyway, if there will be anymore chapters from the original author i'll post it as i see the other chapters. Very Happy


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PostSubject: Re: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Wed Jun 10, 2009 2:28 pm

wow that is a really good story thanks for sharing it with us jenz
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PostSubject: Re: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:47 am

u welcome Very Happy


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PostSubject: Re: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Thu Jun 11, 2009 5:50 pm

good i think
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PostSubject: Re: A Crack In The Line (SSX fanfic)   Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:10 am

Still an awesome fanfic tongue


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